kenzi’s blog

now I couldn’t decide to make this one a video or a written blog.. so i decided to go with written…

thank you all so much for all of the love on the video blog… i love doing them and all of your support helps a ton;)

I was lying in bed thinking a lot. my mind was all over the place. worrying and stressing(as usual haha) and i couldn’t make it stop. It was about stupid stuff, like what I will eat and what I need to pack for lunch. is it too many calories or sugars or fats? all of that mess that I should not stress about. anxiety can sometimes get the best of me. but then it hit me…

we write our story how we want it to look.

we all try so hard to live in this fairytale, that we never realize that life is hard. life is going to be complicated.

the girl/boy you like might not always like you back. the grade you wanted on a test might not always be an A. the friend that you spent half of your life with might not always be there in your corner. but none of us every want to think this way… so we don’t.

this life is messy and so imperfect to live in.

I many times want to give up, because my day isn’t going great or it’s too cold outside (if you know me then you know I would so say this;)) but that’s when you choose to either face the fact that its life or choose to drown in self-pity and be miserable.

God did not create you to be perfect. He didn’t create this world to be perfect.

You have to realize God didn’t make you to be like others. He wants you to stand out and be unique.

you shouldn’t worry what others think of you or say about you. (Even though it is extremely hard now days) Everyone has a different opinion and sadly that causes a lot of hate in this world.

just because you aren’t living a fairytale life, that doesn’t mean you can’t create your own one.

God has a purpose for you. He made you to be perfectly imperfect. now let that light shine, you will do great things in this life- I know it;)

drop some comments below and tell me how you feel about my video:) thanks!!

okay sorry people… I KNOW I haven’t did one of these in forever !!!! BEEN SUPERRRRR BUSY:)

THIS HAS A MEANING JUST WAIT- okay I don’t know about y’all but I ate a TON at thanksgiving. from pies to casseroles to ham and more pies;) which is great because that’s the whole point of THANKSgiving… to be THANKFUL for food!! oh wait maybe it’s to be thankful for your friends and family not food…oops   \o/*

but this thanksgiving was kinda like my first thanksgiving. My first time to have that much food in front of me at a gathering. My first time to be put to the test with everyone watching me… well at least my first time since my huge battle this year.

I was nervous to say the least. I did fine but the day after thanksgiving… it hit me. R E G R E T.

questions like: why did u eat all of that? you just gained a ton!!!why did you eat that much?

so I noticed I have not ate as much lately due to these thoughts. C O N T R O L!!!

I dropped a pound since I went to nutritionist. NOT GOOD PEOPLE.

my stomach. that’s what has always bothered me the most. idk why. for some people it’s their legs, face, personality, but for me it’s my stomach. I can’t say “was” because I’ll admit it. Today it still bothers me. but today for the first time in a while… I haven’t cared as much. I looked in the mirror and was pleased. I struggle with that pleasure of comfort so much.

i look in the mirror everyday and I have fear for what my thoughts will say to me. they poison my mind. yeah I said MY MIND! they make me feel so fat. so worried. stressed. but that’s when you/I have to realize. God made YOU.. yeah YOU. so why spend your life on one thought that could ruin your whole day, week, and like I said LIFE?

i wake up every morning and pray that control takes the back seat and I get in the drivers seat.

I pray for all of you too. and any one who is going  through their own struggles!! 🙂

alright so here’s where the title comes in.

MISS CONGENIALITY means having a gift of getting along with others. friendly.

When I was going through my struggles this summer… I had people in my life who had the trait- congeniality. they were who I needed to get where I am today. I struggle every minute of every second but I know I can pick up the phone any day and I always feel better. they are my saving grace. and my map when I feel lost.

If you do not have someone like that in your life. You truely do not know what you are missing.

if you ever need me to be that friend I’m here. I’m always here for any of you out there.

y’all we got this. we got this. WE GOT THIS;)

 

 

 

 

WOW. WOW. WOW.

WHAT A YEAR PEOPLE!!!

okay idk about y’all, but this year has put me through a lot… but also I’ve learned so much more. I’ve learned self-love, how much people can go through things, and that you are who you are.

Okay well first off when you hear “Happy New Years” there is always some saying to go along with it. THE SAYING. Any guesses? well hear it goes. NEW YEAR NEW ME.

Maybe for some of you that is so true…. and sadly for some of you it is a lie that we all say to try and change ourselves.

No one ever likes to say “new year, same me”… but it is okay to say that. People don’t have to change for others.

Why don’t we all come together and change this saying to….

new year… be more kind.

new year… be yourself.

new year… love God.

new year… love others.

and last but definitely not least…. LOVE YOURSELF.

You are perfect. And no saying, person, or movie star can say otherwise.

lets all try and make 2019 the year to remember. the year to come together. the year to lean on each other. The year to change the world!!!

i am so blessed with great friends like all of you. I pray you all have a blessed new year and spread God’s light al through 2019.

 

 

well haven’t done a blog in a while… yeah yeah I know. sorry I’ve been beyond busy;)

first off… there is 9 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS PEOPLE!!!!!!!! where has this year gone??

Christmas is the best holiday hands down, but this Christmas it has been harder for me…. adjusting to everything!

The foods, candy, desserts…. they all get in my head. thoughts like… wow did I eat too much? too many calories? too many fat calories?

but that isn’t what the holidays are supposed to be about. they are supposed to be happy and relaxing, don’t get me wrong though they have been for me, just sometimes control likes to literally take control😉

and who has been beyond stressed about exams? is it just me? oh yeah…y’all too?

Just think today and tomorrow and then we are out.

anyways though back to stress…

stress. it pretty much sums up exam week. Sometimes people live in stress. They stress so much, that they don’t know how to enjoy their lives. They wake up everyday thinking about what they need to do. sometimes in my case, I can be like this.

my whole point though of this blog… is that yes. if you have a control/eating problem, holidays can be stressful. if you are failing and have to make a good grade in your exams to not fail the whole year.. then yeah you are experiencing stress.

the holidays are not meant to stress you out. they are what you are supposed to look forward to all year long.

what im trying to get at is… even though you are struggling this holiday…. TRY AND BE STRESS-FREE. BE HAPPY. EAT WHAT YOU WANT. DO WHAT YOU WANT. SPEND TIME WITH YOUR LOVED ONES AND JUST  ENJOY IT.

God didn’t put you on this earth to stress. He made you so you can make a difference and also help people get through their stressful times. that’s why I write, to help others. during my time in need, I needed/still need ppl to lean on me and help me. that’s why I try and help…. bc when I was struggling… I had people looking out for me. pulling me out of the darkness. I’m always here to be that person for any of you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

now go make an A+ on your test, eat a cupcake, and watch a hallmark movie;)

 

 

             Written on December 3, 2018

Prayer is used as a go to in times of need or just your time to talk with God….. well it’s supposed to at least.

I feel as if we (including myself) only go to prayer when we feel bad about something or we need something right then.

Prayer is supposed to be a want to, not a have to. Not a routine, but a daily part of our lives. 

Prayer is talking to God and telling him all of your feelings, emotions, wants, needs, requests…. and ABOVE ALL- growing closer to him. 

For most people it is so HARD or sometimes IMPOSSIBLE to want to pray. We don’t understand why what WE WANT won’t happen RIGHT THEN, so we just STOP. 

we all fail when we stop praying and growing. When we take our eyes off of God…. we slowly start to lose balance in our lives. 

The world is not supposed to perfect and neither are our lives. We are humans. We are flawed. We make a billion mistakes throughout the day. We sin every second of every day. 

BUT…. if we just TRY… all I’m saying is TRY- to grow and develop into the people that would make this world not so messy….

we would be way better off and maybe without realizing we will become those people. 

November 26, 2018 

i hope everyone’s thanksgiving was great!!

Well here is my weekly blog😉

I was at Kansas for thanksgiving and my cousins were there… they are one and five years old. 

I was so excited to see them and they gave me the perfect topic to discuss..

no one ever noticed but kids watch every move you make. they repeat what you say. they repeat what you do. They look at you as role models. Lexi, my cousin, I noticed was watching me this week and repeating what I said to her sister. 

It’s precious, but it also makes you think. 

People watch every move you make. They want to have someone to look up to. 

Are we really the kind of role models we would want to look up to? 

 

Our actions might determine someone else’s actions. We all sit here and do whatever we want…whenever we want! 

If people would just sit back and care how they treated others… the world might slowly become more caring and kind. 

Spread kindness people… IT’S CONTAGIOUS 🤩

Written on November 17, 2018 

have you ever walked outside and just admired the wind blowing? the smell of the fresh air? admired the beaming sun coming down on your face? 

well if you have not… try it. 

human beings are so beyond selfish, including myself. we take everything for granted. we walk outside and complain about the sun being too bright or it being too cold outside(definitely towards me… haha!!). We never stop and just admire our lives. The country that we live in. The lives we have. Not all peoples’ lives are the same…. some better than others.

we are all too selfish to just sit and be at peace and enjoy with our things that we are blessed to have. We forget the true meaning of “there is beauty in simplicity.”

Because there is. The sun is a reminder of how you can be the light in this dark world today. The cold weather just reminds us of the changing in the seasons and that we have a  warm home to go back inside to.

There is beauty in every little thing. 

But as Thanksgiving is approaching on Thursday… BE THANKFUL. and no not that you don’t have to cook this holiday, or don’t have to go to school…. BE TRUELY THANKFUL!!! 

be thankful for this life that we live, that we have a home to have thanksgiving at, and that we have a dysfunctional family to spend it with. 

it is sad because the people who do not have anything to be thankful for… always have gratitude. 

be thankful and enjoy your holiday. 

In all things, give thanks. – 1 Thessalonians 5:18✨

 

Written on November 2, 2018 

do you ever sit there and look around at the world we live in? do you ever wish you weren’t on it? do you ever wish you could stay here forever? do you? 

we all go through those times where life is perfect. Well it at least feels perfect. You are in love. You are living it up with your friends. You are doing great in school. Everything with your family is perfect….

Then suddenly without ever realizing it. It changes. You feel as if your whole world is crashing around you and you are just trying to survive. To live. To breathe. It feels as if you are drowning and cannot come up for air. 

Everyone goes through these times. Believe me life is NOT perfect. It is messy, painful, but there can be beautiful, wonderful moments also. 

Death is a horrible thing that gets so many people off balance. It makes you go into a state of depression. It messes so much with your mind, that you also forget your own self. Death makes you miss someone so much, that it makes you want to be with them. It makes you want to give up your life to be with someone.

But during this unstable state of mind… you have to remember one thing. Everything happens for a reason. Even tho it might be so hard for you to look at it- why your family member died for a “reason”? But it’s the truth. 

There is a reason. There is a purpose. We all have a purpose on this Earth. To be “Little Christ” until our time is here. 

Our time to leave this world can be in a blink of an eye. One breath you take on the Earth and one in Heaven or sadly for some people- Hell. You have to make your decision on where you want to go. 

But when you are lost. When someone dies that you are close to. You can’t lose sight of your true self. They are in a way better place than you are right now. 

Don’t shut people out!! Lean on your loved ones to help you through. And if you just keep praying about it. Suddenly, without noticing… each day you will get a little better. A little happier. Have a little more peace. 

slowly, each day….you will be able to swim higher to the surface, and one day you will be able to breathe again. 

P.S. listen to the song, “Breathe” by Anna Nalik- you won’t regret it;)

Written on November 1, 2018

1 John 3:24- And he that keeps his commandments abides in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abides in us, by the spirit which he gave us.

well this is a touchy subject for me and I hope this helps you like it helped me:)

is it just me but do any of you struggle with doubts? in my spiritual walk with Christ… Many times I doubt. I doubt- his love and even sometimes his existence. I am a strong BELIEVER, but sometimes the devil tempts me- like he might do to you.

I always will get really bothered by this topic for the fact that it gives me the biggest pit in my stomach. It makes me sick thinking about it. Why? Because I feel as if I am trying to turn away from my God. And I am not… but that is what it can do to you. Doubts/the Devil can mess with you.

But at DNow 2017, when I was struggling terribly with doubts and feeling alone, I talked to my previous youth pastor and told him about my doubts… So? So I was relieved… he told me that everyone (including him- a youth pastor) has them. He told me that he has the same exact issues. He said that forever we will deal with that. He told me as long as when I am going through them I don’t shut God out or stop praying to find him again, then I would get through it.

But when you feel lost or have that pit in your stomach.. you are not alone. Don’t lose sight of what you believe in because of stupid doubts.

I have to tell myself this every week, day, minute, and second. It is hard to stay so strong when you go through things. If you are struggling to believe in him…  Well here is proof that God is real.

In 1 John 3:24- it says that we know God is with us by the spirit he gave us. The Holy Spirit. That voice that tells us when something is right or wrong. That voice that tells you to grow closer and to trust God. That is the Holy Spirit.

So if you are ever struggling with doubts… WHICH IS PERFECTLY OKAY. Know that the voice in your head or pit in your stomach(the Holy Spirit) shows you that you truely believe and that he is truely real.

God is always with us. Even when we feel as if we are the only ones in the world- alone and lost. He is with us. You are never alone:)