frustrated. confused. annoyed.
a whirlwind of emotions.
I’ll be honest when I say life now days is absolutely wonderful but it’s been difficult.
you’ve heard the story. you know I’m “recovered.” all of you have been let inside on this rollercoaster life of mine these past few years. but I’ve been completely vulnerable w u all this whole time and I will not stop now.
life hasn’t been easy here lately. there have been changes. family changes. friend changes. and even changes within myself. and I ain’t gonna lie. I absolutely hate change.
when you recover from an eating disorder, they never go beyond the fact of recovery. they kinda just stop once you are at a certain “healthy” weight. and to be honest, I never knew that until I actually had to play the role of being the recovered girl.
I’ll be honest. I got so used to the way I was that I just never expected change to occur. thank God it did, but it doesn’t mean I was prepared for it either. the days are still hard. and I find it more difficult to talk about now that I am recovered. as if I shouldn’t be still dealing w it all. as if I should be perfectly fine. I’m ashamed to say it but it’s true.
I believe each of us has a purpose. but the curveballs in life shouldn’t alter our vision of our purpose. those curveballs shouldn’t alter our confidence we need to reach our purpose.
I also believe God doesn’t give his hard battles to weak soldiers. He never will give you something you cannot handle.
I am trying to learn how to live normally, without all the baggage these past years have come with. like truly LIVE. And it’s the most rewarding yet most difficult thing I’ve ever dealt with. I don’t know how to let go. I guess it is something you learn along the way.
but the truth is. people change. life will change. YOU WILL CHANGE.
and it’s completely okay….
I guess what I am trying to get at is if you are in a season of questioning “Why God?” it’s okay. If you are in a season of complete joy. it’s okay.
never compare your story with another’s. comparison will kill you. and ur meant to be different. if we were all the same, life would get pretty boring;)
so when your down. and you cannot figure out how you will get out of the long dark tunnel.
know this. you’re worth it to keep fighting. you’re stronger than the voices in your head telling you to give up.
sometimes the smallest changes bring you the biggest blessings.
“Be still and know that I am God.” – Psalms 46:10
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